Tonight I ventured down to Michael's in search of clay, for a very specific and practical project: a hand-made ashtray.
After some in-depth product research I discovered that it was entirely impossible to create a functional ashtray out of any type of clay not requiring a 2000+ degree Fahrenheit kiln, which is pretty much the one arts/crafts tool that I do not have stuffed in a box under my bed.
Bummer.
If only I still had full-on access to Mrs. Wadsworth's crafts room at Marshfield High...I didn't know how good I had it back then...pottery wheels and a giant kiln all at my fingertips...sigh.
But then, somewhere between exiting the Sculpey aisle and arriving at the register, I somehow escaped the confines of practicality and maturity...
Next thing I remember, I was checking out with the following items:
1 Felt shark helmet.
2 boxes of mini easter chickadees. Pink and yellow respectively.
2 Magic GROW sea creatures. Octopus and manta ray. (Grows to 600%!!!)
2 Viles of "GRAB-A-BUBBLE".
("BLOW BUBBLES YOU CAN HOLD IN YOUR HAND!!!")
It didn't quite hit me until the girl at the register said, "This is like, the cutest purchase ever..."
It was at that point I realized exactly what I was buying. I had a brief moment of inner conflict, but for $10, what else would I buy? A shirt? Not nearly as fun.
It's important to mix shit up sometimes when you spend a significant amount of your time, 5 days a week, doing the same exact crap...i.e, work.
And so I did.
I will be posting updates on the alleged 600% growth of my sea creatures. For the sake of keeping things simple, we will call the octopus Steven. The manta ray will be called Jackson. I'm slightly concerned about the 600% promise, I'm not sure if I have a container big enough to accommodate that volume.
I'm only a bit worried that I may be losing my mind. But I have a feeling that I'm not the only one. Boredom is the new dementia, HEY!
After some in-depth product research I discovered that it was entirely impossible to create a functional ashtray out of any type of clay not requiring a 2000+ degree Fahrenheit kiln, which is pretty much the one arts/crafts tool that I do not have stuffed in a box under my bed.
Bummer.
If only I still had full-on access to Mrs. Wadsworth's crafts room at Marshfield High...I didn't know how good I had it back then...pottery wheels and a giant kiln all at my fingertips...sigh.
But then, somewhere between exiting the Sculpey aisle and arriving at the register, I somehow escaped the confines of practicality and maturity...
Next thing I remember, I was checking out with the following items:
1 Felt shark helmet.
2 boxes of mini easter chickadees. Pink and yellow respectively.
2 Magic GROW sea creatures. Octopus and manta ray. (Grows to 600%!!!)
2 Viles of "GRAB-A-BUBBLE".
("BLOW BUBBLES YOU CAN HOLD IN YOUR HAND!!!")
It didn't quite hit me until the girl at the register said, "This is like, the cutest purchase ever..."
It was at that point I realized exactly what I was buying. I had a brief moment of inner conflict, but for $10, what else would I buy? A shirt? Not nearly as fun.
It's important to mix shit up sometimes when you spend a significant amount of your time, 5 days a week, doing the same exact crap...i.e, work.
And so I did.
I will be posting updates on the alleged 600% growth of my sea creatures. For the sake of keeping things simple, we will call the octopus Steven. The manta ray will be called Jackson. I'm slightly concerned about the 600% promise, I'm not sure if I have a container big enough to accommodate that volume.
I'm only a bit worried that I may be losing my mind. But I have a feeling that I'm not the only one. Boredom is the new dementia, HEY!
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