2009-09-15

Undercracker Love, September: The Garter Belt and Halloween Preview.





I own three garter belts. I assume that this is approximately three more than the average American woman my age, excluding chintzy/cheap hidden-in-back-of-drawer-in-case-of-impromptu-kinky-sex or costume-use garter belts.
Do I use these on a regular basis? No, unfortunately. However, when I have to get gussied up for weddings and whatnot, they are my best friend. Nylons are a complete bummer for me. I mean, when were nylons ever comfortable for anyone? Who invented toe to waist nylons??? I'd like to have a discussion with them. Throwaway nylons don't look good on anyone. Nobody. PERIOD. Even the skinniest of anorexic models. Not to mention it's like having to take off 1/2 of a scuba diving suit every time you have to pee...
Thigh-highs however, will be fantastically sexy until the end of time, I do believe. Practical, gorgeous, wonderful. This is how I feel about thigh-highs. And garter belts are the plus-alpha.
I'm lucky enough to have a pre-existing mini collection. I take joy in the fact that I don't have to buy sexy things for Halloween, I already own them.
Back-seam thigh-highs: CHECK.
Garter belt: CHECK.
Perfect shoes from two Halloweens ago: CHECK.
So on, and so forth.

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